Services

Please click on one of the following births to read their joyous story.

• Rhys’s Birth
  • 

    I really feel that our journey began almost two years before I birthed Rhys. I became pregnant for the second time in the late summer of 2008. The pregnancy ended after only about 14 weeks, yet I had connected deeply with the baby spirit who had tried to enter our world. Throughout the next year I discovered why that spirit had not made a complete journey into our family. My husband, Devin, and my daughter, Grace, and I had some work to do first. Devin and I separated for a few months and began a healing path that resulted in a renewed commitment to each other and our family. Grace turned 5 and had a year of growing independence! She began to separate from the concrete bond she and I have had all her life.

    I believe now that Rhys was waiting for us to make a little room for him. Grace moved over a bit, and Devin and I opened our arms wider to love and life and family.

    Healing from the loss of that pregnancy only came when I forgave myself for the loss and began to trust my body and my ability as a woman and mother. I had not realized how deeply connected my identity was to my ability to successfully bear children. When I failed, my sense of myself as a woman was bruised.

    When I discovered I was pregnant again at the end of the summer of 2009, I was cautiously optimistic. I understood this time that so many things can and do go wrong when we are growing babies, and what a miracle the process really is. However, I also had a renewed sense of trust in myself and my body. I trusted the spirit of my baby and the wisdom he carried. I knew that he had come back to us now that we were ready.

    My pregnancy was refreshingly uncomplicated and smooth. Morning sickness came and went quickly. My chronic back pain seemed to have diminished and then disappear. The only peculiarity was how big I was measuring through the entire pregnancy. The size of my belly made us all think that I was further along than the ultrasounds were showing. We thought I would deliver early.

    I received care from Dr. John Delgado, who had delivered Grace and been our family doctor since. I planned to birth at Ashland Community Hospital. My due date was April 20th. On April 21st I went to my scheduled appointment where Dr. Delgado told me he was leaving town for an "emergency conference" in Florida. He was leaving me in the care of another local doctor, Leslie Stone. Because I had passed my date, he sent me to the hospital for a non-stress test and ultrasound to check my amniotic fluid levels. When I was at the hospital, he called again to tell me that Dr. Stone was not able to be on call as she was also going out of town for the following week. He said that Miriam Soriano was to be on call.

    I felt anxious, but was focused on the monitoring of my baby and body. They had me worried that my fluids were too high. By the time I went home, though, I was feeling extremely anxious about being in the care of a doctor I had never met. I reached out to Mama's Medicine Wheel, a local resource for moms, asking if anyone had birthed with this doctor I had never heard of. I received several replies ranging from a mediocre review to one doula who strongly urged me to find another doctor because she had seen this doctor deliver several babies and had never seen anyone pull so hard on the infants emerging head! I was already feeling uncomfortable with the idea of birthing with a stranger, and now these bad reviews! I tried not to panic, but I felt increasingly angry. I began to feel that my choices were being ripped away.

    The next day I spent all day on the phone with local doctors, the birthing center, and learned very little about who actually was on call at the hospital on which days. I also learned that the only other team of doctors who had delivering rights at my local hospital would not take me on because I was now "post dates". I felt the panic in my chest rising. I was so angry that I was spending my last days pregnant trying to find someone to deliver my baby! I had imagined these last days would be about breathing, relaxing, taking baths, and preparing food.

    

    That afternoon I was on the phone with my husband, telling him what I had learned and how extremely angry I was. I knew I would not birth with the on-call doctor, but what were my options? He stopped me and said one of the most important things he has ever said to me, "Helen, I understand you are hurt and angry and feeling abandoned, but I want you to set the anger aside for now. I want you to make this decision based on what you want. What do you want? Come to this decision from that place."

    I knew exactly what he meant. We had taken a 5 week CHI class early that spring at Hidden Springs that practiced the art of focusing on what we want to create, and how to heal the obstacles that arise. I took a deep breath and thought about what I wanted.

    I wanted to birth with someone I trusted. I wanted to labor in a way that felt supported and conscious and planned. I wanted to look in the face of the person who would catch my baby, and know them and know that they knew me. I wanted to be seen and respected as I birthed my son.

    That evening I called Laura Roe. She was the midwife I had wanted to deliver Grace 5 years ago. Toward the end of my pregnancy with Grace, she had transferred me to the care of Dr. Delgado when I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. I birthed in the hospital and missed out on the home birth I had wanted. I asked Laura, knowing it was a long shot due to my "post date" status, if she would consider guiding my birth and helping me deliver at home. I heard the long deep breath she took on the other end of the phone line. I knew I was asking a lot. We talked about why I wanted this, about my health this time around (which was excellent) and about our readiness and willingness as a family in this last minute request. She said she needed to see my charts from the doctor and she wanted to sit with myself and Devin before she could make a decision.

    The next morning she arrived early and sat with us for almost 2 hours. We talked about the journey we had taken to get to this moment and all of our feelings about it. Laura had a lot of questions for us.

    By the same time the next day, Saturday, Laura had committed to us and to the birth. I was excited and relieved.

    I had an ultrasound scheduled for the following Monday because my fluids were high and I was almost 41 weeks. The tech estimated the baby to be 9lbs 15 oz and asked what my plans were. Because the ultrasound had been originally scheduled by the doctor, I had just politely asked that the report also be sent to Laura Roe. I never said that I was planning on birthing at home, but I think they red-flagged my chart. The doctor came in to review the ultrasound, and immediately suggested that I birth in the hospital. The first thing she said was, "with a baby this size, the worst-case-scenario is that the shoulders get stuck and the baby dies." Wow. I was polite, but left thinking about how fear-based the mainstream care was. I vowed to not go back to the doctor or hospital unless it was medically necessary. I would birth this boy at home with the love and faith and clarity that we were now building with our midwife. Laura was not afraid of the size of the baby. She felt the size of my pelvis and was confident that my body would allow this birth. I thought it was interesting that the doctor would make assumptions without even feeling my pelvis.

    

    We were on a time line due to the fact that midwives are required to transfer care when a woman passes 42 weeks. We discussed the options of natural induction. I had a couple days of accupuncture, colonics, walking, and sex, but this boy was not ready to come.

    Laura suggested another ultrasound to check fluid levels. She said that if I was 2 weeks post dates I wouldn't be expected to have high fluid levels, and that if the levels were still good, we might get away with waiting a couple more days without having to transfer me to the care of a doctor. I was dreading walking back in that office. I asked Laura if I could just have one more night, and if in the morning I wasn't in labor, I would get that ultrasound. She agreed. Sure enough, by 9 am, I sensed that the contractions were stronger than the Braxton-hicks that I'd had. I sent Devin to work, though, knowing that this was just the beginning. But by 10:30 I called him to come back home. Laura came about noon which was when I was starting to sit on the birthing ball and breathe through contractions. It was May 6th, a beautiful warm day. 16 days past my due date.

    Grace and Laura sang along to the soundtrack for Annie. Devin hung out with me in the bedroom. I was fed, hydrated, and massaged. Grace held my hand tight through hard contractions. In the afternoon we felt that it was time to call our support team: My mom, Devin's mom, and Devin's sister Meghan. Laura called her team: Veege, and Naya. I stayed in my bedroom and bathroom, but I sensed the fun and love and peace in the rest of the house. Now and then I heard music and laughter.

    The contractions were intense. I felt best on the bed on hands and knees. Laura reminded me to feel the love and strength in Devin's hand and Grace's hand that held mine, and to breathe that strength into each contraction. She had me visualize my baby moving down into position. I used the tools from the CHI class and visualizations to guide me. They fed me smoothies and water, Grace liked doing it. She ran in and out of the room, checking on me and helping Laura with the doppler. I remember noticing at some point that the light was changing, and wondering why this was taking so long. Grace's birth had only lasted 6 hours. But no one said anything about time or about progress. I was trusted completely. Everyone present trusted me completely. And that gave me permission to trust myself.

    

    I dropped into that Trust. I trusted my body, and I trusted my baby. More than anything, I trusted my baby. I knew he had waited a long time for this, and that his timing was perfect.

    Laura or Veege suggested I sit on the birthing stool, which felt really great. I began to get lost in my contractions, closing my eyes and moaning. Laura asked me to look at her and as I came back, I felt that I needed to stay present. They took turns sitting in front of me, looking into my eyes, meeting me where I was, and moaning and singing with me. They coached me to keep my voice low and my jaw relaxed. I had more focus than I have ever experienced. I was completely present. Veege asked me to stand up and raise my knees one at a time. It was difficult, but as I looked out at the sky getting slightly dark, I felt my baby twist and slide down inside me. I sat back down on the stool and a moment later I felt myself instinctively pushing against myself inside. It felt good, a relief when I pushed. Veege told me to go with it, and we trusted my body again. As I let go into the sensations, I pushed and my water broke. All over Veege! All over everything! And yes, I had plenty of fluid! Seconds later I vomited. The sensation of my baby snuggled down into me in the right position felt good. And pushing felt good. I felt strong. To me it felt like one long contraction, ebbing and flowing and bringing my baby closer. I felt the spirit of god moving through me, growling through my throat and huffing air through my nose. I gave myself over completely to the power that was moving through me. It was so big.

    10 minutes after my water broke, Laura caught my baby boy and handed him up to me. He was beautiful. Grace and Devin were beside me and then I finally noticed the crowd that was hovering at the door of our very small bedroom: both Grandmas, Auntie Meghan, and Naya. I think they all were crying. Veege and Laura took up the small amount of space that was beside me on the floor. What a team! I felt so powerful. I felt energized in those moments I first held him. Whatever had moved through me was still pulsing.

    The midwives were very attentive, but didn't intervene unnecessarily. My son gurgled a little bit, but was breathing fine in my arms and didn't need suction. Everyone was saying how big he was. But I didn't think so. I had pushed him out easily in 10 minutes and it felt good! He couldn't be very big! Or could he? Later, after he weighed in at 10 lbs 3 oz, I laughed because I had thought he was small based on how he felt coming out. I thought it funny that I thought I knew what a 10 pound baby felt like coming out of my body. Grace was less than 8 pounds. Of course I didn't know what a 10 lb baby felt like because I had never had one. But THIS baby, coming out of MY body, felt just right. And, he happened to be over 10 pounds!

    

    My birthing experience was perfect. All births are, really. But this is a birth journey that taught us so many things. And I am grateful.

    I could have had Rhys in the hospital. He still would have been beautiful. We would have loved him just as much. But I wouldn't have had the opportunity to recover my power. I refused to let my doctor decide for me where, when, or with whom I birthed my son. If I had continued care with him, I would have been medically induced. I may have ended up with a C-section. I definitely wouldn't have been trusted so completely. I wouldn't have learned how to trust myself again. I wouldn't have had the experience of power in my decision making and power in pushing my big baby into the world.

    I believe that a home birth was the best decision for us. It may not be for everyone. But I believe that women should have choices. We should choose when and where and with whom we will birth our babies. It is our right to make these choices and we should be wary of anyone who tries to take that power from us.

    I learned about power. The power of a mother bear, which is how they described me as I pushed Rhys out. I move forward in my life as a woman, and as a parent, with that power, and I hold it close.

    --

    Helen M. Mahoney

• James' Birth
  • 

    Today James is already 5 days old. It was immediately evident, from the moment he was born, that he is his own unique, individual little person, and in so many ways different than Boone.

    Mommy is getting plenty of rest, has a huge appetite, and overall, is recovering very well. I ventured up the stairs yesterday for the first time, and had no trouble at all.

    James has had a bit of a hard time keeping up with my milk supply, but I’ve figured out that frequent burpings every couple minutes is the trick to helping him keep the milk down. The first couple of nights were a little rough, because he had so much air in his tummy and was spitting up everything he drank, but the last two nights have been picture perfect, thanks in part to Hyland’s Colic Tablets (a.k.a. miracle pills).

    So like most newborns, he sleeps most of the time, makes the cutest little squeaks and grunts in his sleep, and is just the snuggliest bundle of yumminess.

    

    Wednesday, March 11, was a normal day. I wasn’t having any significant activity, just a few Braxton Hicks here and there through the day. I spent most of the day working on Boone’s cloth diapers that have worn out elastic. My mom called me around 6pm to see how things were going, and I told her that nothing much was happening, just living normal life.

    Then right around 8pm, I was folding laundry, cleaning up dinner dishes, and getting Boone ready for bed when I noticed some pretty strong, deep contractions were coming just a few minutes apart. After an hour or so I could tell this wasn’t another false start (I’d had one the previous Friday), so I called Laura (my midwife) to tell her what was going on and that I would try to go to sleep and see what happens. Maybe ten minutes of lying down and I was back up, wanting to move around.

    Nathan called Laura the next time, and she and Veege (assistant midwife) came out about an hour later. I was so amazed at how different labor felt, because James stayed in the optimal position throughout the pregnancy, and there was little worry that back labor would be an issue. The contractions got stronger for sure, but never painful. I actually enjoyed it!

    

    Boone woke up for a couple hours and wanted to hang around and watch for awhile, and he was very sweet patting me on the back and 'helping' me breathe.

    There was about a half hour period where my contractions started spacing out, so I decided to lay down and try to sleep. After a short while, they revved up again, but I hadn’t wasted any energy worrying about it or trying to force them to speed up. One of the things I learned through Boone's labor was, be thankful for the breaks and pauses, or even false starts. It just means you get time to rest and your body will gear back up when it’s ready. Labor moved steadily along, and I only was in the water for a short time.

    

    Laura could tell somehow that something was keeping James from dropping near the very end, so she helped me get into a position that would let gravity do it quickly. I only had to push through 4 or 5 contractions, and it was a good thing he came out quickly because his cord was wrapped around his neck twice and then around and under his shoulder, and the placenta had separated simultaneously.

    But he wasn't in distress and he was born healthy and fine and they lived happily ever after. :D

• Fiona's Birth

  • I had lost my mucus plug in the bathroom of the massage therapist’s office on Saturday. I awoke in the morning, the following Wednesday, feeling achy in my belly. I thought maybe I was hungry, so I made a big pancake breakfast. While cooking, I felt an uncomfortable contraction. My husband Koeby said, “Are you having the baby today?” It being a week before my due date, I said “No,” and sent him to work. I talked to Laura on the phone and she said to take a shower and see if the achy contractions went away. I got in the shower at 8:00 and afterwards the contractions were still coming. I called my friend Nicoya, who came over so I wasn’t alone with my 2 year old son. I called Koeby home by 9:30, which didn’t surprise him at all. It was a strange feeling to have what I considered to be light contractions; I didn’t know what to do with myself. I walked around outside for a while. By 10:30 I needed to breathe through the contractions, and shortly afterwards my midwives Laura, Karen, and Maud all arrived. I felt I was surely in active labor.

    I labored in the rocking chair, then got into the big birth tub set up in my living room. I was listening to Joni Mitchell, and my little boy was in the room with us at that point, talking to me and touching the water. The water was soothing to my aching back. But then even the tub, after a little while, wasn’t comfortable. I got out and went into my bedroom. The contractions at this point were very intense and I started to feel weak and dizzy, which is not how you want to feel when you are having a baby! I was scared I wouldn’t have the strength to continue on. I said I thought I was going to pass out, so Laura had me lie down on the bed with my legs up on her shoulders while I breathed into a bag. I felt better quickly but the intensity and the pressure were just incredible! Then my bag of waters popped! Laura suggested that I get back to the tub if I wanted a water birth (as I’d said I did), so we moved quickly.

    I could feel the baby coming out all on its own as I stepped into the tub. The baby was strong and determined to come out by itself! The baby’s head was born above water level, before I could get down into the water, so Laura said that I needed to stand up so the baby would have room to be born. When I stood up, she came right out, with no pushing effort on my part at all! It was amazing. Right away, she was pink and making noise, grabbing her face. Koeby jumped into the tub so I could be supported and lay back on him, and our son came in and sang “Happy Birthday” to her. He had been baking a cake and outside with his grandmother, and wasn’t in the room when she was born, but it was nice that he was right there to see her afterwards.

    Then I got out of the tub and walked into my bedroom, where the placenta practically fell out on the carpet. I hardly bled at all afterwards, but I did feel woozy. I lied down while the midwives did the newborn exam- she weighed 8 pounds, 10 ounces (almost two pounds less than my son!). Then I nursed her. When I tried to get up to pee, I did pass out onto the bed, so I was under strict orders to stay in bed for a few days without trips to the bathroom, so I had a chamber pot of sorts next to the bed. My husband took her for her first bath, then we tucked into bed for our babymoon time! It was a smooth, wonderful birth.

• Bodhi's Birth

  • The week before I gave birth, it was stormy and blustery outside. I knitted and took daily walks, and read. Koeby, my husband, began his leave from work on my due date, December 15th, to take care of our two small kids and the house, and allow me to rest and relax a bit. Thursday night, December 18th at 10:45 pm, my water broke while I was asleep in bed. I had had such a heavy feeling all week, and I suspected that my water would break first. I felt raw and uncomfortable, sleeping upright on a comfy chair, but contractions didn’t come. Friday morning we had a prenatal scheduled, so Laura come over and suggested we try and get things started. We headed off to see Jody Herriot, an acupuncturist, around noon. She put a needle into my shoulder and I immediately had a powerful contraction on the table, which continued the more needles she placed! It felt crazy to ask for labor to start, and it was weird knowing it was coming. The contractions were kind of light, but felt good and coordinated. While Koeby was paying, I went to the bathroom and had several contractions there. I was kind of spacey and think I might have just stayed there if he hadn’t checked on me and essentially told me to come out! We left the office at 1:30, canceling our plans for a lunch out, and headed home.

    Koeby put on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas CD, which I love, and left me in my rocking chair while he made me a grilled cheese. I sat holding my slippers, spacey and unable to figure out how to put them on! Koeby rescued me, helped me out, and then we stood by the hall table, eating our sandwiches and chips between contractions, which were getting stronger. During the contractions I would lean into Koeby with my head, needing to feel the counter-pressure. Then the contractions started coming back to back. It was all I could do to breathe and not lose my breath. It was hard to adjust to, to find rhythm in…I began to get fussy. It left like transition, but I had just begun labor! I whined, “It’s not fair!” Then we called Laura. I told her either I was being wimpy or it (the birth) was really close.

    Laura arrived at 2:40, and quickly helped me to a better place. I was worried as my hands felt tingly, and I was scared I’d pass out like I almost did during my last labor. I was beginning to lose all perspective, and was blowing and gasping air to stay on top of the contractions. We moved to the couch, me on my knees on the thin mattress we’d put on the floor, leaning onto Koeby’s lap while he sat on the couch. I had been wanting to move into that position for some time, but lacked voice and motivation to get there. The first two contractions in that position felt rotten. Then I felt the need to holler, and when I did I felt the baby’s head come down. Laura helped me get my pants off, as I was still fully clothed. Nicoya, Laura’s assistant, was called, and Laura got her “things” from her car. I said “That’s the baby.” With the next contraction, the head started to crown, and I could feel it with my hand. I yelled more, which pushed him down. If I didn’t yet it felt awful. The next one I pushed his head out into my hand. It felt good and full and huge! I was encouraged to leave it there a minute, and I could feel my tissue stretching. The next contraction brought his whole head, and Laura said to feel for a cord at his neck (usually I think she does this, but I’d been fairly adamant about not wanting anyone but Koeby and I to touch the baby). I felt and said, “Here’s an ear! I can’t find the cord! (which was good!)” Then there was a pause, a strange reality, with a head in my hand and the baby’s body still inside me. I put one foot up, declaring what I was doing outloud, so I could reach to catch him better. I told Koeby I needed his hands too, as I wasn’t sure I could reach to catch it myself. Then a contraction came, which brought his whole body into our hands. I saw right away that it was a healthy boy!

    I sat down and held him in my lap. Koeby wrapped a blanket around him. He was fluish and mucusy, his eyes shut tight. He coughed and gurgled. He looked familiar- he was beautiful! Most notable was his little chin and chubby little fingers. Koeby asked, “Is this Bodhi?” And I said “Yeah.” Nicoya (who had arrived when he was crowning) and Laura sat by us watching him come into his body, attentive in their care. He nursed shortly after, and my placenta came with no problems.

    He was born at 3:13 pm, just short of a 2 hour labor! The kids had been at Elises’s all morning, but as she was sick their grandpa had picked them up. Koeby’s mom opened the door, thinking she was coming to help with the children, and was surprised to find a baby born already! We called Grandpa and they all showed up about 20 minutes after the birth. They kissed him and our almost 5 year old asked, “Is it a boy?” and smiled a great smile knowing he had a brother. They were mellow and watched a video while we cleaned up. Our 2 year old daughter asked, “Is it Halloween? Is it Christmas?” She knew something special was going on! We measured him- 9 pounds, 7 ounces and 20 ½ inches long. I hadn’t torn, and I felt good. We took a bath together by candlelight, Fiona joining us at the end. It was great to watch him unfold in the water. That evening we were surprised by singing outside- Christmas carolers right out our front door. Then Bodhi and I slept our first night on the floor by the Christmas tree. He nursed so often that we didn’t sleep much at all. What a blessed little bundle!

• Riley's Birth

  • I was awakened at 2:00 am to the waters of my womb releasing gentle waves of surges about 3 minutes apart. I sit up and smile while my honey calls the midwives. We light candles and cuddle. I am slow moving in the middle of the night and eat a snack. I begin some stretching movements and bounce on the birthing ball. I focus on my breathing and opening. It evolves into leaning forward into the faces of strong midwives offering encouraging words. I repeated in my mind affirmations and they moved into my body, pumping in my blood, flowing with my breath like a stream of yoga poses. My body, mind and spirit kept expanding and unfolding. I trusted the natural process.

    The wave of surges are persisted and strengthened until they were back to back. The urge for the water was irresistible. I found instant relief getting into the birthing tub. My honey’s presence and kisses helped me let go and become loose. I surrendered to the sensations. In this moment that choice was very intense , yet the most effective. With a few more breaths and some sips of coconut water and I felt my baby’s head moving down and beginning to crown. I called for Solyana, my four-year-old daughter, who was asleep in the next room. I felt the top of a wet, fuzzy head and took a deep inhale, finding my center once more, and then out slipped my baby. Riley Finn wiggled up to the surface. He entered in our family surrounded by love and smiles. Face to face with my son, fresh from the womb, was calm and peaceful. His heart tones were low and he received oxygen as a jump-start to warm up. We exited the tub and welcomed him with words of love.

    His soul finally arrived fully in his body and he took his first breath. I was ecstatic and in shock. The rush of giving birth grounded me into my bones and I took a swim in my baby’s eyes, holding his hands. My Blessed little one was now part of our family. His Sister rushed to bake a birthday cake with the midwives. I delivered the placenta as easy as pie and cleansed away the blood of a ruptured membrane. I crawled into bed and relaxed for breakfast. I contemplated and then accepted the strange and wild aspects of birth. I gave thanks for my working uterus for my baby’s entrance into the world.

• Tzayuli’s Birth
  • 

    Tzayuli’s birth was beautiful, empowering, sacred, life changing and perfect. Tzayuli was due Tue Nov. 19th and that day came and went uneventfully. I hadn’t felt any changes in my body and was very sure I would go at least a week past my due date. A week passed, and as we approached the 10-day-late mark, I still hadn’t sensed any changes, but Tomas (my husband) and I began to think she would be born on the following Sunday- my dad’s birthday and a “good astrological line-up”.

    Wednesday night (the 27th), right when I was going to bed, I felt so much movement in my lower pelvis, it seemed like she was starting to prepare to come into this world. Nonetheless, my body still felt great-I had no swelling anywhere, I still could sleep all night long no problem, and I wasn’t feeling anxious at all.

    Friday I was 10 days late, and we met with Laura to discuss how we would proceed if I reached 42 weeks. Although my body still wasn’t showing any changes, Tomas and I didn’t worry so much, because we were sure she would be born over the weekend…Sunday. At the appointment, Laura listened to Tzayuli’s heart patterns, and in her very intuitive way she sensed that Tzayuli was communicating to her that she was doing just fine in my belly and that for now we didn’t need to do anything to help encourage labor.

    Thursday was Thanksgiving and on Friday afternoon, I started feeling a little sore in my lower back. I thought it might be a good time to give the birthing tub a “test run” because relaxing in the warm water sounded very inviting. Tomas and I filled the tub, lit some candles, burned some essential oil and got in the tub together. To Laura’s suggestion we took some time to talk to Tzayuli and ask her if there was anything she wanted us to do before she came. What came to me was her request that from that moment on, whatever we were doing, we should bring into our actions a consciousness that we were creating a sacred space in which she would be born into. We also told Tzayuli that we were ready for her, and did a meditation visualizing her birthing process, Tomas talking us through the “spiritual aspect” (the presence of white light shining down from above, etc) and me talking us through the “physical aspect” (my cervix opening, Tzayuli descending through the birth canal, etc).

    After we were done with the bath, we sat down to watch a movie with my mom and I noticed that I was starting to feel a little crampy. The cramps would come and go, and I mentioned this to my mom and we agreed that they were probably the beginning of contractions. My mucous plug came out that night, and I had contractions throughout the night and couldn’t fall asleep until 4:30am. I felt excited and the contractions weren’t uncomfortable, I just tried to relax into them.

    

    I woke at 7:30 the next morning (Saturday) feeling tired yet energized and excited. I called Laura to let her know that I had been awake all night with contractions, but since they weren’t following a rhythm yet, she suggested I get some rest and call her if they started up again. I couldn’t go back to sleep, and Tomas and I wanted to get everything ready for Tzayuli’s arrival, so we got out of bed. My contractions actually never let up, but because they were inconsistent and totally manageable, I didn’t call Laura. Tomas was totally wonderful, pretty much doing all the preparing (cleaning the bedroom, preparing the bed, etc) while I directed him.

    I called Laura in the afternoon and she recommended that I eat some root vegetables and a good dinner, and maybe watch a movie to relax. When I called Laura to check in before I went to bed, it seemed like there was still nothing new to report; I was still having contractions, but they weren’t too strong, and they were inconsistent. Laura told me to call her in the night if I was unable to sleep because of my contractions; I was sure that I would be calling her! I went to bed and experienced stronger contractions throughout the night-but somehow I felt like they weren’t interfering with my sleep. I probably woke up every half hour to an hour, with a strong contraction, but I would just “Om” my way through and imagine myself expanding and relaxing into the sensation. I was sure that night I would need to call Laura and that I would give birth, but as each contraction came I would glance at the clock and see the night progress into morning.

    The next morning (Sunday) I checked in with Laura who recommended I eat and then go for walk and maybe climb some hills. After a nauseating breakfast, we drove to my favorite trail. As soon as we began walking I would feel a contraction, and then my body would relax completely. It felt so nice to feel that space in between contractions. However, it didn’t last long because for the rest of the walk my body felt uncomfortable and I was never able to fully relax between contractions. Nonetheless, it was a beautiful walk. All of Ashland was covered in a blanket of fog, but since we were above the fog line it was a beautiful and sunny day and almost even felt like spring. We saw two bucks; one looked so “manly” and noble, it felt like a good sign. Obviously our pace was slow, I would have to pause and “Om” through contractions-but I was proud of myself for making it up all the hills. It was only the last little part downhill that I sent Tomas to get the car. By that time I was walking really slowly!

    When I got home, I was feeling uncomfortable, tired, and a little frustrated because my contraction still weren’t following a rhythm. I cried a little bit, and then got in the shower, which made me feel a little better. Laura and Chantia (the other midwife who was going to attend the birth) were on their way over to check in. While I waited, Tomas put on a cd of the Moola Mantra and lit some incense. I sat on the couch and rested between contractions, and when one came, I would get up and bend over and lean onto the couch. I felt like my body was entering a rhythm and it felt good. Tomas helped me say my affirmations between contractions, and that made me feel more confident, positive, and relaxed.

    Laura and Chantia arrived, and interestingly my contractions totally let up; from the outside it was hard to tell I was even in labor! They checked my vitals, checked the baby, and everything seemed normal. Based on how things seemed to be progressing, Laura was thinking of giving me a remedy to either speed things up, or slow things down. But first she asked if she could check my cervix. To all of our surprise, she could feel the baby’s head right there, and my cervix was 5cm dilated!

    Based on this, she felt that everything was progressing well (although unusually), and that really nothing needed to be done. She did say that the baby wasn’t in the most ideal positioning and thought that might be the cause for my discomfort and the irregularity of my contractions. She recommended I get on all fours and crawl around to help the baby move into a more optimal position.

    After Laura and Chantia left, I felt relieved and more positive. I ate some lunch and took a nap with Tomas. It was hard to sleep because the contractions kept coming and I felt a lot of pressure on my bowels. I woke up noticing that the intensity of my contractions was increasing-it wasn’t enough to just “Om” –it seemed like there was more force coming behind my voice. I called Laura, and she told me she wanted me to focus on crawling and being in the all fours position. For the next two hours, I was crawling around just pausing for contractions and it was really intense! Tomas would put his hands on my back during contractions, which helped relieve me.

    At some point, Mom asked me if I wanted to eat. I had no idea how far into labor I was, and even though I felt nauseas, I thought it was important to eat to keep my strength up. I realized there was no way I could sit down, so while Mom and Tomas were at the table having casual dinner conversation, I was on all fours moaning and trying to crawl between contractions. At some point Tomas encouraged me to eat, so in between contractions I downed a bowl of chicken broth.

    I still didn’t think the baby had changed positions, but by then it was intense. I was really wanting my water to break in hopes that it would relieve some of the pressure. I took some Skullcap and planned to take a nap hopefully to wake up to my water breaking. I was too uncomfortable to lie in bed, so I lay on the floor and insisted that Tomas stay at my side. It didn’t take long for me to see that the nap wasn’t going to happen. It seemed that my contractions were coming every couple of minutes, but I had long given up on timing them. I began to notice that with my contractions was coming the urge to push-I didn’t know if it was me needing to go to the bathroom or if it was the baby- but I thought it might be a good time to call Laura!

    The contractions kept coming and Tomas was supporting me as we waited for Laura to arrive. As soon as she got there, I felt like I could just let go, and I began to “roar” the birthing song. I realized that the discomfort I was feeling was the baby descending! From there I was swept away by the energy of birthing, and most details are rather blurry. I remember being amazed by the roaring coming from within me. I remember Tomas being at my side and encouraging me the whole time. I remember Laura asking if we wanted our altar candles lit, and her dimming the lights. I remember when Laura called Chantia and saying very calmly “Hey, I think it is a good time for you to come over.” I remember Laura recommending that we transition to the toilet, and that seemed like a good idea.

    

    Being on the toilet felt good because I felt like I could completely surrender to the urge to push. I think it was only one contraction when there was a “pop” and my water broke right into the toilet. Tomas was afraid the baby would be born in the toilet, so we transitioned back to the bedroom. Squatting seemed like the best position to be in, and we found that it worked perfectly for Tomas to support me under my armpits and I could hang from him. By then I was completely riding the energy of birth. At some point, mid-contraction, Laura told me to reach down and receive my baby!

    I reached down and brought this beautiful, perfect baby to my chest. Her head was perfectly round, and she had beautiful black hair. I’d never seen anything so perfect before in my life! When I decided to look between her legs, I was totally surprised to discover she was a little girl! A perfect little girl, and I was in love. Tzayuli was born at 7:40pm on Sunday (just as we had predicted!). From then it took almost an hour for the placenta to be born, and its warmth and softness passing through me even felt good.

    The midwives were here until 1am in the morning. I had a small tear so I had to be stitched up, but by then I was so blissed out and in love, I could handle anything. We did the newborn check and she weighed 6lbs and 12 ounces and measured 21 inches.

    After the midwives left, Tzayuli and I stayed up until 2am nursing, and then we fell asleep. It was so amazing to have this beautiful baby next to me making the sweetest little sounds. I woke up early the next morning, just so that I could watch and admire Tzayuli -this beautiful little being that I birthed into this world!!